


Bahumpug!

by ahhhnorealnamesallowed



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Black Friday, Christmas, M/M, Shopping, Ugly Holiday Sweaters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-12 22:29:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12969759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahhhnorealnamesallowed/pseuds/ahhhnorealnamesallowed
Summary: Eden's Twilight is too festive considering it's black-and-leather customer base.Nicky thinks Black Friday shopping is a Great Idea.Neil just doesn't get it, until he does.*Rating Updated for discussions of sex in ch 2 and the bonus smut in ch 3!*





	1. Neil Josten vs Black Friday

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for @that-ship-has-sunk on tumblr for the ATFG Winter Exchange!
> 
> I hope you like it--I'm a huge nerd who adores ridiculous Christmas sweaters, so I was about your needs!
> 
> I'm going to update the formatting when I add the second chapter, so bear with me since this first chapter is currently being published from my phone.

It was all Nicky’s fault.

They had originally planned to send Nicky to Germany for Christmas, to spend time with Erik and his family, but when they had mentioned it to Nicky, to make sure that Erik would be happy to host him, Nicky had said he would only go if his “entire family” would come too.

Andrew refused on the basis of the plane ride.  Aaron didn’t want to waste money on the tickets, and he had already made some plans with Katelyn for New Year’s Eve.  Kevin was pissy about the court situation—apparently, there hadn’t been enough Exy in New York, and Europe would almost certainly be worse.  And Neil wasn’t about to spend Christmas away from Andrew, not that Andrew would let him.

So, it would be Columbia over Christmas, with trips to Exites and courts and gyms. And Eden’s.

Actually, even more than it being Nicky’s fault, it was because of Eden’s.  

For a club with the whole black-clothes-and-leather vibe, Eden’s tended to really go all-out for holidays, Christmas being no exception.  The last Friday before Christmas Eve was their holiday celebration, and if you came wearing an “ugly Christmas sweater” you’d get a free shot.

Which was why Neil was being dragged around the mall that the twins and Nicky liked to frequent on fucking Black Friday.

Neil doesn’t like the mall; he doesn’t like shopping, or trying on clothes, and he really doesn’t like crowds.  But here he is, being subjected to all of it for the sake of sales on Christmas sweaters.   _ Ugly _ Christmas sweaters.

He doesn’t even understand the point.   _ Why _ would you spend money on an ugly sweater? Or even just a seasonal sweater—if you can only wear it once a year, it isn’t worth the money, in Neil’s opinion.  But when he complained about it to Andrew, all he got was a higher percentage and kiss.  Which was nice, but didn’t help him understand why he had to come shopping with them.

They wouldn’t buy a sweater for him and bring it home with them so he could spend the day  _ not shopping _ —Nicky said that he needed to choose his own sweater otherwise it wouldn’t “express your holiday feeling, Neil, c’mon don’t be a Grinch about this!”  Which was bullshit, because Neil didn’t have any “holiday feeling” but when he told that to the cousins, Nicky gave him that awful pitying look and Andrew told him that he was coming.

And when they pulled into the parking lot, he figured he’d gone far enough, but  _ no _ , he couldn’t even sit in the car the whole time.

“I don’t know how long it’s gonna take,” Nicky had said, while Neil stayed in the passenger seat, arms crossed, definitely  _ not _ pouting, thank you very much.

“Stop being a pissbaby and get your ass in the mall.  We don’t want them to sell out of all the good ones,” Aaron had muttered, and ignored Neil’s indignant, “I’m not a pissbaby, asshole!”

But Andrew had been the deciding factor.  He had stood, quiet and blank-faced, before Neil’s pout and pulled out a cigarette.  “We’ll meet you inside in five minutes.  Don’t die.”  And once the others had left, and his cigarette was almost half finished, he’d looked Neil in the eye and asked, “Yes or no?”

The  _ yes _ was a hardly audible breath from Neil’s lips as Andrew had dropped the cigarette, ground it beneath the toe of his boot, and placed his hand on the back of Neil’s neck, fingers tangling in the auburn hair at the nape of his neck.  That grounding hand, firm and solid and warm and  _ Andrew _ was so reassuring to Neil’s frazzled nerves, and the feel of Andrew’s lips against his own had Neil’s heart racing while his mind fell silent.  So what if he didn’t like crowds, or shopping, or spending money, or buying useless, tacky, single-use apparel.  Andrew would be with him.

They had entered the mall, side-by-side, but the solid wall of people had unnerved Neil, and he had fallen back, to walk a little behind Andrew, like he did at the club sometimes, using Andrew’s broad shoulders to shield himself from the mass of shoppers.  Andrew texted Nicky to find out where he and the others were, and Neil wished, not for the first time, that he had the excuse of a father-son mini-road-trip to get out of this trip like Kevin.  The lucky bastard.  Maybe Wymack would adopt Neil…  Neil was broken from his musings when Andrew reached back and grabbed the edge of his sleeve to pull him towards a store filled to bursting, with windows papered in red SALE notices.  Fuck, Neil was not looking forward to this.

“Neil!  Andrew!  There you two are!  That was  _ ages _ more than five minutes,” Nicky smirked, doing this thing with his eyebrows that Neil thought insinuated  _ something _ , but all the acknowledgement Nicky received was blank looks from both him and Andrew.  “You guys are no fun,” Nicky pouted.  Then he perked up.  “I found the  _ best _ sweater, you are going to die—look at this shit!”  Nicky held up a sweater with a cartoonish Jesus and the words “IT’S LIT” in big, bold caps across the bottom.  Nicky beamed at them, waiting for a reaction.

“‘It’s lit’?” Neil asked, and Nicky groaned and buried his face in the sweater he was holding.

“Never mind, I forgot who I was talking to.  Aaron!” Nicky turned around and shouted, “Come check out the sweater I’m getting!”

Neil couldn’t see Aaron, be he imagined the blond was ducking even further into whatever hole he had crawled out of and texting Katelyn even more determinedly in the face of his cousin’s shouting.

Andrew tugged Neil forward by the sleeve again, leading them towards one of the tables spread with Christmas sweaters and 50-70% OFF signs.

“At least I don’t have to pay full price for this shit,” Neil sighed.  Andrew just looked blankly at him for a minute before looking back down at the table and picking some up to sort through.  Neil sighed and did the same.

Neil  _ really _ didn’t understand these things.  Nicky had explained that they were meant to be ugly or tacky or awful.  And a lot of fun.  Matt had said something similar when Neil asked him.  But when he was looking through the sweaters, he felt like he was missing something.  Tons of them had things like “IT’S LIT” on them, and there were a bunch that said “Merry Christmas You Filthy Animal” on them, and Neil didn’t get it.

Until, suddenly, he did.  Andrew had picked one up and there was a different one underneath it.  It was blue and decorated with pattern of Stars of David.  In the centre, two dreidels were lightning a minora, with the words “GETTING’ LIT” in block letters above the image.  It was, somehow, the greatest thing Neil had ever seen.  He got the joke, he thought the picture was fun, and, apparently, the candles lit up.  He pulled it from the pile on the table and held it up.

“Would it be culturally insensitive if I got this one?” he asked Andrew.  Andrew looked at the sweater and shrugged.

“That is the point of it,” Andrew pointed out. “Nicky’s buying one with Jesus and a meme, for fuck’s sake.”

“That’s true,” Neil mused. “But Nicky is actually Christian… I’m not religious at all.”  Andrew just looked at Neil again, then shrugged.  Neil shrugged back.  “I’ll see if they have this in the size I want.”

“That one will fit you,” Andrew stated.  Neil shrugged again, and started looking for a large or extra-large.  So what if he wanted it loose.  If he had to buy the damn thing, he’d get it in whatever size he fucking wanted.  Andrew made no move to dissuade him.

He should have known that meant something.

Finally, after several other stores, and what felt like years later, everyone had selected, bought, and paid for their Christmas sweaters.  Neil was so relieved to finally be leaving the mall he didn’t even mind that he had no idea when Andrew had bought his sweater and what is was like.  All Neil knew was he’d somehow managed to get one for himself, and for less than twenty bucks.


	2. Neil Josten vs Eden's Ugly Sweater Holiday Bash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Neil finally finds out who is wearing what Ugly Holiday Sweater. And is pissed off by Aaron's choice.
> 
> Also, jeggings, (lots of) swearing, and discussions!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First thing's first: I'm so sorry this is sooooo late. I have zero excuses, just a lot of things to apologise for. Hopefully, this chapter makes up for the delay (and it is almost double the length of the first chapter, so there's that)!
> 
> So, this chapter contains some discussion of sex and mentions of some hard-core making out. I'm gonna up the overall rating for reasons that will be made clear in the notes at the end of this chapter, but it could also apply to the discussions of sex in this chapter, so use your discretion. I don't think there are any triggers to tag for, or anything else that needs to be mentioned, but please feel free to let me know if you see anything!
> 
> At any rate, enjoy!

It was the Friday of the Eden’s holiday bash.  Neil, Andrew, Nicky, Kevin, and Aaron had spent the last week in Columbia.  It was nice—lazing on the sofas, watching movies and ordering takeout, not stressing about classes or Exy.  Neil liked sharing Andrew’s room and Andrew’s bed, and had been able to every night they’d been at the house.  They hadn’t really gotten up to much, because the walls were thin and Nicky and Aaron were annoying enough without Neil accidentally screaming an orgasm.

Not that Neil was _that_ loud during sex, but when he and Andrew had managed a long weekend alone in the house over the summer, they had both learned that once Neil was on his back, head on Andrew’s pillow, fingers tangled in Andrew’s hair, surrounded by Andrew’s _smell_ —well, apparently, Neil _could_ be loud.  Really fucking loud.

So, no sex in the house with the others around.  But that didn’t stop the kisses, the warm hands on scarred skin, the press of lips to neck and collarbone and hips.  And some nights they just slept, Andrew’s back pressed against the wall, Neil’s back curled towards his chest, not touching but still so close that Neil could feel Andrew’s hot breath on the nape of his neck and feel the warmth raiding from the broad chest.  There hadn’t been any nightmares this week.

Neil had just finished showering when there was a knock on the bathroom door.  “Yeah?” Neil called, wrapping a towel around his waist and running a hand through his wet hair.

“It’s me,” Andrew said from the other side of the door.

“Just a second,” Neil walked toward the door, pausing to dry his feet on the towel spread across the bathroom floor.  Neil unlocked the door and Andrew pushed his way in, a stack of clothes in one hand, a towel hanging over his arm, and his face impassive as he locked the door behind him.  He shoved the pile of clothes into Neil’s arms before hanging the towel on the rack by the shower door.  Neil separated his clothes out from Andrew’s, trying to find dry spots on the counter to put them while he dried off.

When Neil had finally settled the clothes, Andrew began to pull off his clothes, placing his armbands on his outfit and leaving the rest of his dirty laundry in a pile on top of the one Neil had started.  As Andrew undressed, Neil brushed is teeth and dried his hair with a hand towel.  Neil dried off and dressed while Andrew showered, but made a distressed noise when he noticed the jeans in his pile of clothing.  How he had missed them when sorting the piles was beyond him, but he imagined it had something to do with how this had become habit: Andrew bringing him clothes that he had picked out for Neil, and bringing his own, and showering after Neil while Neil dressed and brushed his teeth.  They had become so fucking _domestic_ , it made Neil sick with happiness.  But Andrew was still an asshole.

“Andrew, what the _fuck_ are these?” Neil spun around, holding up a pair of black jeans, so soft and thin and stretchy that they hardly seemed like denim.

Andrew peered through the glass of the shower door, his face impassive but hazel eyes lightly sparkling with amusement.  “Jeggings, Neil.  Just get dressed.”

Neil sighed, but dressed.  The jeggings were a struggle to put on—they were tight, and clung to his thighs and sat low on his hips, leaving him a little paranoid that the scars on his stomach would be visible.  This fear was waylaid when he pulled on the black t-shirt Andrew had given him to wear.  It, too, was tighter than Neil would prefer, but it was long enough to end a comfortable few inches past his hips and the top of the jeggings.  By the time Neil was pulling on his armbands, Andrew was shutting off the shower.

Neil could feel Andrew’s eyes on him as he tried to pull the stupid jeggings up a bit higher, so that they stopped feeling like they were going to fall off his ass even while they felt almost too constricting around his thighs.  “What?” he demanded, without looking back at Andrew.  He was unsurprised to receive silence as a response, even as Andrew’s warmth appeared at Neil’s back.  Neil turned so that he was facing Andrew, meeting his eyes even as he wanted to trace the outline of his muscles, his collarbones, his hips…

“You’re in the way,” Andrew stated blandly, gesturing behind Neil to his pile of clothes.  Neil stepped out of Andrew’s way, adjusting himself in the ridiculous pants again, and tugging on the hem of his shirt, trying to get comfortable.  “Go away.”

Neil huffed out a small laugh, hanging up his towel on his way out of the bathroom.

*

Everyone but Andrew was in the living room by the time Neil was ready.  He was glad Andrew had bothered to grab him a t-shirt, because the neck of his sweater was just a little too loose, and he would have been awkwardly adjusting it all night.  And now that he saw how _long_ the sweater was, he had stopped caring about the low-riding jeggings.  They might be kinda uncomfortable, but there was no chance of any skin being revealed because the sweater fell down to mid-thigh.  Nicky whistled when Neil appeared in the doorway of the living room.

“Are you wearing leggings, Neil?” Nicky demanded, with bright eyes and a wide grin.

“Andrew said they were jeggings…” Neil hedged.  That just made Nicky squeal or shriek or some other high-pitched and irritating noise that had the other three men grimacing and glaring at him.

Neil used the opportunity to look at everyone else’s dumb sweaters.  He was already dreading having to wear his, all night, in a packed fucking club.  Damn Eden’s and Nicky and probably Kevin, Aaron, and Andrew, too.  He could have stayed at Wymack’s or Abby’s and been able to practice.  He could practically hear Andrew’s sneered _Junkie_ the moment that thought crossed his mind, and he almost smiled.

Nicky was wearing that ridiculous Jesus “IT’S LIT” sweater he had bought first, despite the fact that he picked up a few more at different stores, claiming, “You can never have too many of these,” which Neil thought was a load of bull.  You can only wear them one month a year, apparently.  At least, that’s what he’d been told when he asked before going shopping in the first place.

Aaron, the bastard, was wearing a black t-shirt with “MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU FILTHY ANIMAL” on it in white font.  The fucker was still wearing a black t-shirt, despite the fact Neil had been told to buy a _sweater_.  Talk about double-fucking-standards.

But it was Kevin’s sweater that really caught Neil’s eyes.  Of fucking course, Kevin had an Exy-themed Christmas sweater.

“How the fuck did you get a Trojan’s Christmas sweater?” Neil demanded.  He wanted to know if Palmetto sold Foxes Christmas sweaters, but he thought that Andrew might actually stab him if he brought one home, let alone wore it.

“Jeremy and Jean sent it to me as an early Christmas present,” Kevin mumbled, just as Andrew entered the living room.

“They bought you a joint Christmas present?” Neil clarified.  Kevin nodded, a small smile on his face.  Neil shrugged and looked to Andrew to find out what he thought of the whole thing, but the entire subject disappeared from his mind when he saw Andrew’s sweater.

Black and long-sleeved, with borders of snowmen, bones, and red fire hydrants on the top and bottom of the shirt, the slogan of “BAH HUMPUG!” in white was far from the most eye-catching feature of the top.  No, right in the center, surrounded by round snowflakes, was the face of a dog—a pug.  The sweater was festive, anti-Christmas-spirit, and a _fucking pun_.  Neil couldn’t imagine Andrew finding a more perfect sweater.  Andrew started herding the rest of them to the Maserati before anyone could comment on it.

“Why didn’t Aaron have to wear a sweater?” Neil muttered to Andrew as the blond locked the door.

“Don’t whine, Josten.  Nobody likes a pissbaby.”

“I’m not a fucking pissbaby, asshole.”

“You’re in the backseat, Josten.”

“Fuck you.”

*

The drive to Eden’s was relatively quiet, with Aaron texting Katelyn and Neil pouting on the opposite end of the row.  Nicky was in the middle, so that he could fiddle with the radio dial, until Andrew hit his hand away for trying to put on an all-carols-nonstop station, at which point he joined Neil in the pouting.  Kevin was almost as busy with his phone as Aaron, but Neil could hear the quiet sounds of an Exy game from the seat in front of him, so he knew Kevin was watching some game or highlights on his phone rather than texting.

But Nicky’s pouting didn’t last long enough, in Neil’s honest opinion, and soon he was talking a mile a minute about the rest of the plans for Christmas.  Neil was only half paying attention as Nicky listed off the errands he planned to run, the things he was getting for the other Foxes as presents, the romantic skype date he had planned with Erik.  It was as he began oversharing—“I think I’ll buy some toys or something… You guys don’t mind leaving the house for a few hours on the 25th, right?”—that Aaron finally snapped at him to “Shut the fuck up, Nicky, or I will throw myself out of this car and into oncoming traffic and no one will be having sex this holiday!”

Neil didn’t think the threat was that effective—he’d jumped out of moving cars before, and Aaron in the hospital would only really bother him because it would upset Nicky and Andrew—but it shut Nicky up, so Neil let it pass without comment. 

Eventually, after what felt like a rather long, awkward silence, Andrew pulled into the parking lot of Sweetie’s.  Neil knew better than to complain about it, since he knew they wouldn’t be getting any crackers and Andrew would eat the other half of his sundae.  But the sweater, hanging long and loose, was different enough from his normal baggy hoodies or his regular club clothes to be considered uncomfortable by Neil.  He tries not to fiddle with the sleeves or hem of the sweater and ends up lagging behind the others as they head to the table with the hostess.  Luckily, Andrew noticed his preoccupation and tugged on his sleeve, leading him out of his head and towards the rest of the group.  Andrew was good that way, even if he did include a muttered, “c’mon idiot,” that only Neil heard.

The trip to Sweetie’s went about how Neil expected: Andrew ate most of his sundae for him, and managed to eat his own as well.  Nicky couldn’t keep his mouth shut, but Neil and Kevin were willing to humour him to some extent.  Aaron texted Katelyn.  Neil tried not to pull on his sleeves or his collar; he tried not to pluck at the strange not-quite-denim material of his jeggings.  He couldn’t wait to get to Eden’s, because then they’d be closer to heading back to the house in Columbia, to heading _home_.

Andrew seemed to sense his not-quite-anxiety, because he rushed the others through their ice cream, sending Nicky to the waiter stand to fetch and pay the bill, rather than waiting for it to come to them.  Then, they were back in the car and on their way to the club.  Neil was in the passenger seat this time, and he was the one who hopped out to fetch the VIP parking pass for Andrew before joining the rest of the group in heading into the club, cutting the queue and greeting the bouncers by name.

Neil watched as Aaron and Nicky automatically set off to find a table for the five of them, and turned to Kevin beside him.  “Go with Nicky and Aaron, and let them know that I’ll bring over the drinks in a few minutes when Andrew gets in.”  This was the usual pattern, so Neil felt confident in the order, despite the fact that he and Andrew hadn’t actually discussed this plan.  Kevin was also familiar with the routine, so he just wandered to the table that the cousins had secured while Neil headed to Roland’s bar to wait until the bartender was free.

“Hey Neil! Nice sweater!” Roland called, and Neil grimaced at the reminder of the sweater.  He’d been thinking of it in terms of his discomfort, which had grown to include its stifling heat in the club, and not so much about its stupid slogan and cute pyromaniac dreidels.  “The blue really brings out your eyes,” Roland continued.  Neil had not been thinking about that, too.  He just shrugged, with a mumbled, “thanks,” causing Roland to chuckle.  “Has Andrew still not taught you how to accept a compliment?” The question was clearly rhetorical, as Roland then gestured at the table where Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin were sitting.  “Everyone in the sweaters?”

“No,” Neil said, a small smirk on his lips. “Aaron is in a t-shirt. I don’t think he deserves a shot, do you?”

Roland chuckled again, shaking his head.  “I knew there were plenty of reasons Andrew liked you, but that petty spite is definitely something he knows how to embrace.”  Rather than give Neil the opportunity to respond, he began to make the regular tray of drinks.  “Are you drinking tonight, Neil?” he asked, his hands still occupied with the mixer for one of Nicky’s cocktails.

Neil thought about it for a moment.  “Nah, just a soda and a bottle of water tonight, thanks. The shot will be enough, I think.”

Roland nodded and returned to mixing and pouring just as Andrew arrived, with a muttered “yes or no?” before slinging his arm around Neil’s back, arm resting along the low rise of Neil’s jeggings, and leaning forward to peer at Roland with his chin resting on Neil’s shoulder.  It was too hot for that kind of closeness in the club, especially in stupid wool-blend Christmas sweaters, but Neil never even considered shrugging him off.

“We’re one shot short,” Andrew stated, the question implied, once Roland had loaded up the tray and pushed it towards them.  Neil started to affect a blankly innocent expression, even though Andrew couldn’t really see his face at this angle and was asking Roland.

“Neil told me that Aaron isn’t wearing an ugly or festive shirt,” Roland shrugged, smiling broadly at both men.

“No, I told you Aaron wasn’t wearing a sweater. You only asked me about sweaters,” Neil denied as Andrew turned his face toward Neil’s.  Because of how Andrew was still resting his chin on Neil’s shoulder, it brought his lips across Neil’s cheek as he turned his head, and Neil couldn’t completely repress a shudder of satisfaction brought on by the contact.

“Well, at least you aren’t whining anymore,” Andrew muttered into Neil’s ear, his breath warm and moist on Neil’s skin.  He couldn’t help shuddering again, leaning imperceptibly back, allowing himself to lean his weight on Andrew for a moment before straightening and grabbing the tray from the bar top.

Andrew turned and cleared the way for Neil, and Neil tried to keep as close as possible without knocking the full tray of drinks into Andrew’s back.  It felt like a long walk to the table in the corner, with the bodies pressing against Neil, and the heat and noise of the club were pounding and reverberating in his chest.  And, on top of all of that, those dumb jeggings and that stupid _fucking_ sweater.  Fuck that asshole Aaron for wearing a t-shirt.

When they _finally_ reach the table, Neil practically drops the tray onto it.  He reaches for his shot in the same motion, knocking it back without even a grimace, then grabbing his bottle of water.  Aaron, who had been on his phone when Neil and Andrew had arrived, was the last to reach for his free shot—and Neil was able to watch him falter, count, and realize what Neil had done.  Neil met his glare with a smirk.  It might be petty, but Neil felt pretty damn vindicated as he watched Aaron stand up and storm away, likely heading to the bar to claim his free shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think of the characterisations, because I'm not confident about bratty!Neil...
> 
> As you might have noticed, there are now 3--that's right, THREE--chapters instead of the original 2. This is because I have decided to include a bonus chapter to thank everyone for their patience: a smut scene!
> 
> I hope to have on here by Boxing Day (Dec 26) at the latest, but it really depends...
> 
> Shout at me on tumblr: @ahhhnorealnamesallowed

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This was my first time writing for the AFTG Fandom, so please feel free to send me constructive criticism and tips.
> 
> I'm also on tumblr @ahhhnorealnamesallowed


End file.
